What Moms Really Need
(Mothers’ Day edition, from a millennial mom)
By: Vanessa from NaturallyFreckled.com
It is very easy to find information on how to be better parents to our children. But what does it take to be a better child to our moms? Shouldn’t we focus on being better to the people who give an immeasurable amount, to the children that they spend all of their lives wanting to be enough for? Yes, we celebrate moms once a year, but could we be doing more year round?
Yes, we can! And here are some tips on getting started:
1) Being thankful/appreciative
A thank you can be more effective than you may think. If possible, try to be as specific as you can. For example, “Thank you mom for always going above and beyond to make sure I was fed” or, “thank you mom for working 2-3 jobs to make sure I could go to college.” Hard work or sacrifices should never go unnoticed, whether you think it is someone’s “job” or not. We all have “jobs” but we perform those “jobs” at different levels, with different levels of passion and commitment.
2) Spending time
The older children get, the less time they have for their moms due to other commitments, responsibilities or their own families. Unfortunately for moms, these can be lonely times, especially if their children are no longer living with them, if they’re widowed, or if they’re less mobile or social due to sickness or old age. Try to visit often. Set “dates” where they have something to look forward to or be excited about, or just spend some time talking.
3) Teaching and encouraging self-care
Moms have the hardest job there is. Remind them to take care of themselves and relax. Whether it’s getting a manicure, going to the hair salon, ordering out instead of cooking, or reminding them that it is ok to take a nap without feeling guilty. Self-care is very important to our overall health.
4) Forgive them
Some people still hold grudges for something a parent said, did or didn’t do when they were younger. We are all human and we make mistakes. No one is perfect. Let them know that you forgive them for whatever it is that hurt or offended you and move on. If they are not aware of what you’ve been upset about, don’t mention it and just forgive them privately.
5) Understanding their upbringing
This has a lot to do with how they parent. Maybe they were brought up in a very strict household and in turn they are very strict with you. It’s not because they don’t want you to live your life and enjoy it, but because that’s how they were brought up and that’s all they know. Our experiences often dictate who we become, whether good or bad. Try to understand where they’re coming from and you may see them differently.
6) Offering assistance/help
This can be helping with a meal or even offering to cover a monthly bill. I find joy in knowing that my mother never has to worry about her phone bill because I pay it for her. Run an errand for them, accompany them to a doctor’s appointment, etc. Sometimes it’s just the thought that counts ☺.
Motherhood means unselfishness. There is an invisible cape that moms wear, and in the eyes of their kids they are invincible…superheroes. Let’s not lose sight of that as we get older. Let’s remember, honor and appreciate these “superheroes” for their unselfishness, not just on Mother’s Day but every day! “Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:31)
Vanessa of the Naturally Freckled Blog is a renessaice woman: nurse practitioner, wife, mom, daughter and friend (to list a few adjectives). She writes about solutions to life's imperfections in subjects like finance, beauty, home, and DIY projects. Learn more at naturallyfreckled.com.